Yes, it true my husband surprised me by cooking dinner for me. A real dinner. Not Mac and cheese or pb&j. Spaghetti, steak, bread, and for dessert cookies. It was all very good and the best surprise. I am a lucky woman.
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Thursday, December 30, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
More on name
From dan's point of view
In my usual style, I'll say that's not exactly the way it happened.
We did consider his given birth name and how he would handle a name which sounded foreign to most children and adults when he came to live with us. We compromised with a dual first name of Lincoln Tadiwos.
My thinking has always been that he can self identify as his heart decides over time. Maybe as a pre-teen he's Lincoln and by high school or college he prefers Tadiwos.
I would have been ok au natural, but I'm also ok with the fact that we supplemented his given birth names with a given name of our own. At his young age he will identify with that which we call him the most; I think he'll stick with that for awhile. But as he grows he may find that his path in life will include Tadiwos. One can only imagine.
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In my usual style, I'll say that's not exactly the way it happened.
We did consider his given birth name and how he would handle a name which sounded foreign to most children and adults when he came to live with us. We compromised with a dual first name of Lincoln Tadiwos.
My thinking has always been that he can self identify as his heart decides over time. Maybe as a pre-teen he's Lincoln and by high school or college he prefers Tadiwos.
I would have been ok au natural, but I'm also ok with the fact that we supplemented his given birth names with a given name of our own. At his young age he will identify with that which we call him the most; I think he'll stick with that for awhile. But as he grows he may find that his path in life will include Tadiwos. One can only imagine.
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What is in a name
Our son self identifies as Lincoln. I call him Lincoln, lincoln tadiwos, or just tadiwos and he responds. But if given a choice his name is Lincoln and only Lincoln. His friends at school seem to know tadiwos is something his mom calls him but I doubt they know that was his given Ethiopians name. I love the name Lincoln. I think it has history (16th president) and truly represents something that dan and I gave him with all our love before we met him.
Why did we choose to rename him? He was just a month shy of 3 yes old when he was referred to us. He knew his given name. We were renaming him. I don't know. I know we had good reasons then. We couldn't pronounce his name. Different Ethiopian friends told us difference ways. I worried that growing up he would be frustrated that his name was always mispronounced (I have some experience with this).
But did we do right by him? When we were in Ethiopia we learned how to pronounce his name. We learned that his father gave him this name because it means something to the effect of doing better and have better outcomes. We called him tadiwos the first couple of weeks/months (I don't really know how long, then we switched to Lincoln tadiwos, and now often to just Lincoln. When we started kindergarten I asked if he wanted to be tadiwos at school and he said something in kid language that was akin to an adult's "hell no". He was Lincoln through and through.
Our little man has lost his homeland, his culture, his birth family and their family, his language, and his name. The only thing he truly has Ethiopian now is his looks.
I think I have been thinking more about his name because I have been meeting more and more people who adopted kids from ethiopia and kept their name the same. I have also adopted teenagers and young adults who have changed their names back to their et names. Will Lincoln want to do this when he is older? Will he wonder why the other adoptive kids have non-American names. Does he even notice?
I guess for now I am going to have to find peace with our decision. He is Lincoln. I love the name. I love him. He is happy with the name. He has yet to complain or ask how we picked Lincoln for him. When he does I will be ready. I will tell him that right or wrong it was the name that sung in our hearts as the name that represented him and that it was with love that we call him lincoln, Lincoln tadiwos, or tadiwos, and our son.
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Why did we choose to rename him? He was just a month shy of 3 yes old when he was referred to us. He knew his given name. We were renaming him. I don't know. I know we had good reasons then. We couldn't pronounce his name. Different Ethiopian friends told us difference ways. I worried that growing up he would be frustrated that his name was always mispronounced (I have some experience with this).
But did we do right by him? When we were in Ethiopia we learned how to pronounce his name. We learned that his father gave him this name because it means something to the effect of doing better and have better outcomes. We called him tadiwos the first couple of weeks/months (I don't really know how long, then we switched to Lincoln tadiwos, and now often to just Lincoln. When we started kindergarten I asked if he wanted to be tadiwos at school and he said something in kid language that was akin to an adult's "hell no". He was Lincoln through and through.
Our little man has lost his homeland, his culture, his birth family and their family, his language, and his name. The only thing he truly has Ethiopian now is his looks.
I think I have been thinking more about his name because I have been meeting more and more people who adopted kids from ethiopia and kept their name the same. I have also adopted teenagers and young adults who have changed their names back to their et names. Will Lincoln want to do this when he is older? Will he wonder why the other adoptive kids have non-American names. Does he even notice?
I guess for now I am going to have to find peace with our decision. He is Lincoln. I love the name. I love him. He is happy with the name. He has yet to complain or ask how we picked Lincoln for him. When he does I will be ready. I will tell him that right or wrong it was the name that sung in our hearts as the name that represented him and that it was with love that we call him lincoln, Lincoln tadiwos, or tadiwos, and our son.
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Sunday, December 12, 2010
Snow
After much debate we decided to head to the snow today. We have season passes to Sierra, north star and now due to some merger heavenly. We left at noon, were on the slopes by 2:30 and tuckered out by 4, when they closed. Lincoln did amazing!
This will be his 2nd season and I can tell he is a natural. I was such a klutz at his age. I can't believe he can get down the mnt so smooth. I will grant you that we were on the very bunny slope today and next week will be the challenge as we pick it up a bit and go to the bigger green slopes.
I hate ski lifts. I don't think anyone should have to be in the open air with dangling feet just waiting to fall. My fear is significantly increased when my son is also on the lift. But, I do a decent job hiding my fear. I don't want him to be jinxed by my fear. I would like to know how with knowing this I became the parent who has to get him on and off the lift. Dan is the cool parent that little man wants to follow down the slopes. But I am the keep him safe parent. I am going to Need to work on my deep breaths.
After the slopes we hit Chevys. Always good times. Lincoln was such a ham!
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This will be his 2nd season and I can tell he is a natural. I was such a klutz at his age. I can't believe he can get down the mnt so smooth. I will grant you that we were on the very bunny slope today and next week will be the challenge as we pick it up a bit and go to the bigger green slopes.
I hate ski lifts. I don't think anyone should have to be in the open air with dangling feet just waiting to fall. My fear is significantly increased when my son is also on the lift. But, I do a decent job hiding my fear. I don't want him to be jinxed by my fear. I would like to know how with knowing this I became the parent who has to get him on and off the lift. Dan is the cool parent that little man wants to follow down the slopes. But I am the keep him safe parent. I am going to Need to work on my deep breaths.
After the slopes we hit Chevys. Always good times. Lincoln was such a ham!
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Saturday, December 11, 2010
Rituals
Every family has rituals. Some last for days and other years. One ritual we have that has been running for the past month or so is startling momma. Lincoln and daddy think it is hilarious to brush teeth and get jammies on and then sneak around the corner into living room and say " boo". Even when I hear them I just sit quietly reading and acted surprised. Tonight I told Lincoln that he was really good at sneaking up on me and he said it was because daddy helped him. Oh be still my heart. What a love. Maybe he will be a kid with manners after all. thanks for sharing the credit kid.
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Friday, December 10, 2010
April 2008
Thus far I have only added a limited amount of photos to my iPad photo library. So I thought I would reminisce about the 1st family photo shoot we had in April 2008. Note in this first photo that little man is well below my belt line. Let me just say he has grown a lot. We were brushing teeth tonight and I was again amazed at how tall he is. He is above my hip. And I am not short!
One of the toys we gave him in his care packages was this play phone that can record messages. He still plays with that phone. Hours of enjoyment. When we were playing tonight I saw the face of the little boy I met in Ethiopia. His face has changed some since (mostly more slender)then but occasionally I can still see it. That little boy that will forever have my heart.
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One of the toys we gave him in his care packages was this play phone that can record messages. He still plays with that phone. Hours of enjoyment. When we were playing tonight I saw the face of the little boy I met in Ethiopia. His face has changed some since (mostly more slender)then but occasionally I can still see it. That little boy that will forever have my heart.
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Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Christmas gifts
I finished shopping for the little man today. For stocking stutters and gifts from Santa and us I spent $140. I probably could have got one less gift and done it for $125, which would have made dan happier but when I saw the toy story operation game I just couldn't say no. I remember loving to go yo mu uncles house because he had operation. I loved that game. Hope Lincoln does too.
Now I just need to buy new wrapping paper. I wonder if Lincoln would notice if I used the same paper as last year. What am I supposed to do with last years if I can never use them again. Is there s place to swap out paper. Hmm. Maybe there is something to create. A wrapping paper exchange party.
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Now I just need to buy new wrapping paper. I wonder if Lincoln would notice if I used the same paper as last year. What am I supposed to do with last years if I can never use them again. Is there s place to swap out paper. Hmm. Maybe there is something to create. A wrapping paper exchange party.
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Monday, December 6, 2010
Monday ups
Today was a great day. I could use more of these. Dan took Lincoln to school and I went in early and jammed with my stuff. My new office rocks. It is on the second floor and is a corner office. The tree are changing colors and it made me happy yo look out and see them. I got off on time, got the little man, made dinner, did the dishes, and laundry, and am now blogging. Wow - that is productive!!! And such a nice change from work , work, work!
Taught Lincoln Marco Polo in the spa tonight. Might need to practice that one a bit more.
Now off to spend time with the love of my life.
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Taught Lincoln Marco Polo in the spa tonight. Might need to practice that one a bit more.
Now off to spend time with the love of my life.
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Sunday, December 5, 2010
New Blog Location
I have created a new blog site, one that I can access from my iPad at any time. I can't guarantee it but I think this might make my posting more regular.
I started blogging when we began our adoption of our little man in February 2008. I was diligent until about march this year when life seemed to spiral out of control. I think things are getting better and I am emerging from the tunnel of crazy. So much so that I want to start blogging again.
We will see how it goes.
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I started blogging when we began our adoption of our little man in February 2008. I was diligent until about march this year when life seemed to spiral out of control. I think things are getting better and I am emerging from the tunnel of crazy. So much so that I want to start blogging again.
We will see how it goes.
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