Our son self identifies as Lincoln. I call him Lincoln, lincoln tadiwos, or just tadiwos and he responds. But if given a choice his name is Lincoln and only Lincoln. His friends at school seem to know tadiwos is something his mom calls him but I doubt they know that was his given Ethiopians name. I love the name Lincoln. I think it has history (16th president) and truly represents something that dan and I gave him with all our love before we met him.
Why did we choose to rename him? He was just a month shy of 3 yes old when he was referred to us. He knew his given name. We were renaming him. I don't know. I know we had good reasons then. We couldn't pronounce his name. Different Ethiopian friends told us difference ways. I worried that growing up he would be frustrated that his name was always mispronounced (I have some experience with this).
But did we do right by him? When we were in Ethiopia we learned how to pronounce his name. We learned that his father gave him this name because it means something to the effect of doing better and have better outcomes. We called him tadiwos the first couple of weeks/months (I don't really know how long, then we switched to Lincoln tadiwos, and now often to just Lincoln. When we started kindergarten I asked if he wanted to be tadiwos at school and he said something in kid language that was akin to an adult's "hell no". He was Lincoln through and through.
Our little man has lost his homeland, his culture, his birth family and their family, his language, and his name. The only thing he truly has Ethiopian now is his looks.
I think I have been thinking more about his name because I have been meeting more and more people who adopted kids from ethiopia and kept their name the same. I have also adopted teenagers and young adults who have changed their names back to their et names. Will Lincoln want to do this when he is older? Will he wonder why the other adoptive kids have non-American names. Does he even notice?
I guess for now I am going to have to find peace with our decision. He is Lincoln. I love the name. I love him. He is happy with the name. He has yet to complain or ask how we picked Lincoln for him. When he does I will be ready. I will tell him that right or wrong it was the name that sung in our hearts as the name that represented him and that it was with love that we call him lincoln, Lincoln tadiwos, or tadiwos, and our son.
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